i told you i would try

i tried and all you did was push me away, i put out my hand and you broke it, i came to comfort you and you went aside and did something that was regretted. i never try for anything, but for you i'd do anything, that was all a mistake, why try when the other just tests your limits, you never even did anything to help what we had. you say you sacrificed more then i was worth well i didn't see anything, all you caused me was pain but i pushed all that aside just to see your face because that made my day, no week, no not even that, you made my life just enough to where it felt perfect. even though i went to do hurting work every day it didn't matter, i had you and that's all i could ever ask for, i fell i love with everything about you, if i were able to say everything i loved about you it would take hours, but now i lost you, lost the feeling of love, lost my meaning of life, all i have now is a thing i don't want.....myself, why have something you don't deserve. you say you didn't know to jump or not, well i don't know to let go or not, you may have a few friends who can help, i don't. i might not understand how you feel but you'll never understand how i feel, to be left with everything but nothing at all, to have been taught everything you needed to and not know how to use it. i'm sorry i wasn't enough for you, i really wish i was. today i had a lesson about letting go of things and how hard it is, well i've  held what we had and every night it haunts me, but no more, i've let go as i know you have. i'll just continue my life as it was before. just like a unpaid intern, if you ever need anything    i'll be there, if i need anything don't bother. i told you i would try, i guess trying isn't good enough.......................this only a section of what i could explain but it's all i was able to say. nothing more then sorry

up to date

first of all who's mehgan, why do i want to know, because you seem to mention her alot. also what other homecoming are you going to? well anywho my day was good, i finished quite a bit. i finally started school, i'm able to go on my studying spree, i can finish all my work in a week and i'll be done with all high school stuff, but i'm not skipping any grades because that would be dumb of course. so other then that this are getting better for me, i hope they're getting just a little bit better for you, if not you can always talk to me. but you never take my advice so i'm not expecting anything. well gots to go so see you laters

fun stuff

good job on your poems, if your able to you should make alot more, but of course as always only if you want to. so today i go to my dance class, how fun, ballroom dancing is the best. haha anyways the next dance is going to be amazing, oh yeah, i get to go to colony's homecoming, that's going to be fun too, well go to go bye

A new me

sorry how i acted, i was still in shock about what happened, but it's all good now, i need to talk to you some time about a plan i have. don't worry it has no bad affects. anyways i'm still holdding you up to your word, i best be treated as a brother, oh yeah that reminds me, i'm sorry about your sister i hope it's really just nothing but you never know. i have one question/request to tell me how long it took you to start reading my blog again, anyways again......umm i can't say what i usually say so i have to come up with something different so it  might be a few days, well see ya

good bye and fair well

i've put alot of thought in to this and well you made me extremely happy at first, but now that that's over all you do to me is make me weak and i can't have that, you are the first person i ever fell in love with and the best mistake i've ever made, i hope what you have with nate works out, i dout it but that's not for me to say, this blog is just a memory of you and what we had and i don't want what we had. i've found someone else, kind of fast i'd say but so have you, so i guess we're even. so i have one last gift for you and then i don't plan on talking to you again, not to be mean i just don't want any flash backs. good bye and fair well. i won't be blogging again                                                            
                                    
 for a while at least

busy busy

wow, last month was busy. this all that happend, i finished two houses a grauge feel in love and had my heart broken, that more then i've ever done before, and it's the first for all of them, but that's life and you just have to deal with what they throw at you. that's why life sucks and is the best thing ever. that's it

why have a title when you can have a smily face :)

the reason i didn't blog before is that my computer was lost and well now it's found, and haha why did sam think it was so weird that you've never kissed anyone, neither have i, i was never able to tell you that before because we were always talking about you, and as i've said before you being ''beautiful'' is not only of looks it's of your personality and well just who you are and you most defiantly are. and that's all i have to say because my arms hurt to type because i did a bunch of stuff at mutual and you wouldn't because you didn't go.......looser. haha just kidding, of course. goody bye you people persons